The word "love" is familiar to each of us. Even small children use it in their everyday life quite often. However, it turns out that the feeling behind this word is not understood by all.
Love, what is this feeling, and how does it affectour life, can be considered both from the point of view of science, and from the point of view of the absolute concept adopted by mankind. However, many people have never even thought about the meaning of this word. What kind of feeling is love and what are its true motives, only one knows, moreover, it is even difficult for them to describe this feeling with ordinary words.
At the very beginning
In order to understand such a wonderful feeling,as love, one should first turn to religion. After all, as we know, every society is based on faith, and in fact, it does not matter what they believe in. The Bible says that a feeling that can endure for a long time, not be proud, not to think evil, cover everything and believe everything, is called "love." As a rule, this feeling occurs to people who are close by kinship or spiritually. In the Holy Scriptures it is also pointed out that such relationships exclude all benefits. It turns out that, from the point of view of religion, this is a kind of virtue that excludes the possibility of using. Most likely, most true believers agree with this definition and try to follow it. But is it so easy to love openly and unselfishly in our time?
Of course, perhaps some people live byrule "If you hit the left cheek, you need to substitute the right one", however, with each passing day, it becomes less and less. From this it follows that the modern world does not associate self-sacrifice with attraction. But in fact, really, what kind of feeling is love, that it is necessary to be humiliated and feel insulted?
Rather, even on the contrary, a beautiful word thatcharacterizes the feeling of attachment to another person, causes a feeling of warmth and lightness in the heart. Modern love is a feeling of affection, comfort, desire to make a person pleasant. Probably, the reference love can be called motherly. Many scientists believe that this kind of attraction is the strongest in the world.
Such different love
Love, what kind of feeling, as well as its varieties, was studied by one Canadian sociologist John Alan Lee. He singled out several types of relationships between men and women, namely:
- Erotic love.From the title it becomes clear that this feeling is based on the sexual attraction of partners to each other. Most often this kind of manifestations of flares and can not last long. However, there are cases when erotic attraction lasted for years.
- A game. This is the second kind, which is characterized by the affectiveness of the senses. The relationship of such a married couple is more like an exciting game than love.
- Graduality.Most likely, this is one of the more enduring species, because it is based on a feeling such as friendship. Long friendship grows into an attachment and an attraction arises that can last for years. But there is a catch too - there is too little passion.
- Love is mania.People are controlled by a sense of passion, they do not notice anything around, except for the object to which this feeling is directed. As a rule, what is this "love" and how it differs from simple passion, a person does not realize, the craze quickly passes and the relationship collapses.
- Pragmatic feelings. In such a relationship, the partner clearly knows what he is looking for. He knows exactly what qualities the second half should possess. Pragmatic attraction can last for many years.
- Love is the ideal. This is a long relationship that is based on trust, unselfishness, tolerance. These are the ideal feelings that many are looking for.
Great people "about love"
Since the attraction of people can be arguedinfinitely, most of all this feeling was studied in the field of philosophy and literature. To whom, as not to philosophers and poets, to study what is love. Dante Alighieri in his works described this feeling as a kind of force that can drive the sun and the stars.
Plato, in turn, studied love from the point ofview of aesthetic perception. He interpreted her as falling in love with a beautiful body. From this teaching arose the concept of platonic love. This feeling, based solely on spirituality, which is devoid of any physical sensuality.
Love, what is this feeling, and how to recognize it,Albert Camus also tried to understand. Once he said that all people are prone to despair. He linked these states to the absence of one great love. All his life, Camus was in search of truth. His philosophical reasoning treats love in terms of true happiness. He believed that love should not bring a person anything but happiness.
Jealousy and love
As François de La Rochefoucauld said, in jealousymore love for yourself than for another. And, in fact, these words are not meaningless. In modern society, it is commonly believed that jealousy is somehow associated with the notion of love. But is it really so? After all, first of all, love is a trust to a partner, no doubt about it. And jealousy is an absolutely opposite feeling that says that a person does not trust his partner. The concept of jealousy in a romantic relationship can only be viewed from the point of view of property. Every person who loves, would like to have all the attention of his half turned only to him.
Love from the point of view of Erich Fromm
In such a science as psychology, loveis viewed from a slightly different angle. For example, E. Fromm studied what love is, what this feeling is, and how it affects a person's life from the point of view of a character trait. That is, he is capable of loving everyone, or no one. In other words, he believed that this feeling could be a character trait of a specific individual and ask attitude to the world as a whole.
That is, love can not be presented as a feeling for one person - if so happens, it is most likely just selfishness. Love is light, according to Fromm, it heats everyone around.
The theory of Sternberg
This theory treats love in threecomponents - determination, passion and intimacy. Strenberg believed that without these constituents the feeling can not exist. What does love look like if it has no passion or determination? A person who is truly in love with another, must decide in his intentions, he is passionate and feels certain duties. In addition, an important component of love is its object. For example, the object of the mother's love is her child. She cherishes it, educates, loves, no matter what, but some circumstances may lead to a decrease in the feeling of love. They say that love forgives everything, but in fact it turns out that even this feeling has certain limits and can stop.
What is love in your own words
Of course, given that this feeling hasa huge number of faces, everyone is able to feel it in their own way. Someone argues that when a person is in love, his heart often contracts, someone feels lightness in the diaphragm or vice versa spasm. But these feelings do not persecute people for a long time, but, most likely, arise only at the peak of the situation.
It is very difficult to explain what love is, in your own words to those who have never felt this feeling. And those who experienced it do not always understand: was it really love?
Love and intimacy
Many philosophers and psychologists have argued for years,is it necessary to have intimacy in a romantic relationship. Of course, everyone knows about the existence of Platonic love, and this is proved by the fact that such relationships are possible. But on the other hand, some scholars believe that Platonic love is just a myth and a self-deception. As you know, when a person is in love, the desire for intimacy arises uncontrollably.
Unfortunately, in our time the proximity between twopeople do not mean at all that there is a feeling of love between them. Many also completely confuse sexual relations with this wonderful feeling. However, by studying the concept of "love" in psychology, what it is and how it arises, we are once again convinced that, first of all, love is spiritual intimacy. People should pull each other not only physically, but also morally. They should be interesting together, they should have common goals and, of course, beautiful sex - only in this case love arises between them.